better than I was

“I’m not better than any of the rest of you, I'm just better than I was”

Being “broken” is part of the human condition.  At least it is in my Catholic world view.  Our brokenness is the reason behind Christ’s sacrifice.  Being broken is part of our path to God.  Grace is God’s gift to us.  That we are loved even though we are broken.  In fact, we are by God and frequently by others loved because of our brokenness.  Embracing and accepting the ways in which I am flawed is part of my path to healing, to wholeness, and to happiness.  I know that I will never be perfect, but at least I can try to Christ like.  I know I won’t attain that either, but I can strive for that.

And, oh boy am I broken.  But that is the beauty of it.  It makes me who I am.  And my family and friends love me for who I am.  The whole deal.  Not in spite of my flaws, but including my flaws.

Self-centeredness, selfishness, grandiosity, dishonesty, depression, trouble with drink…the list goes on.  But it is OK.  I am loved anyway.  I have hope.  And faith.  And I can try to act more selflessly.  I can work through my depression.  I can try to live with humility.  I can try to not take that first drink.

There is no one who is beyond help.  There is no one who is hopeless.  But I met a guy last night that thought he was.  I am truly saddened when I meet folks who feel hopeless.  He thought he was worse than any of the rest of us.  How grandiose is that. 

Grace is there for anyone.  Grace is there even if we don’t ask for it.  Grace is there even if we aren’t seeking it.  Repentance is important.  Trying to change is great.  Trying to live better is wonderful.  But they aren’t pre-requisites for God’s love.  God loves us anyway.  Trying to live right doesn’t guarantee God’s love, but it does lead to a happier more fulfilling life during my short stay here on earth.  When I live a life of service to God and my fellow man, what I get in return is not a 1^st class seat on a jet to heaven.  What I get is simply a better ride on this journey called life. 

My life today is more wonderful than I can ever have imagined.  Had I asked for everything I had dreamt of to come true I would have been selling myself short. 

I’m not better, or luckier, or smarter than anybody else.  It’s not because I try harder, or serve better, or pray more.  I’m not better than anyone else.  I’m just better than I was.

Blessed be.